SUNFLOWERS

BELIEFS

Every now and then we all have periods of low energy, grief, loss and ‘befuddlement’. Times when life hands us a blow that is almost impossible to ACCEPT. We are caught ‘off guard’ or somewhat being on a ‘tilt-a-whirl’ ride at the carnival.

It usually hits me on the occasion of an anniversary of a LOSS, an unexpected loss or trauma of some kind. Last week, I experience all this. The anniversary of losing my baby and favorite aunt and uncle in one week (59 years ago) hit me particularly hard this year. Then the passing of a lovely friend added to my ‘tilt-a-whirl’ feelings.

I was ‘lopping’ all my feelings into Loss, as if I had never had the GIFTS of LIFE in other ways. I went on to have 4 wonderful children and 4 precious grandchildren. I also have many wonderful friends. Then this morning I suddenly was struck by the fact that I am living my LIFE with all it’s ups and downs, blessings and seeming LOSSES.

 What all I am feeling is LIFE! The very highest form of LIFE because it is CHANGING almost every minute and I am EXPERIENCING it! The biggest blessing of all! What a gift that is, because that is what LIFE is made of!

A friend offered me a gorgeous pink camellia with two buds on the stem. I put it in a vase and enjoyed it every day, several times.  On the sixth day I looked at it and the blossom had plummeted face down to the counter. I felt the flash of a let down and then gently picked up the flower and thanked it for being in my home for me to enjoy. After a day or two, I let the two buds go on the stem with a thank you to them, too.

Thinking of the camellia today has made me realize, once again, the CYCLES of LIFE. The teeny tiny seeds of living things start very small and grow until their cycle is over. IT IS THE WAY OF THINGS! Nothing or no one is ever going to change that. What we need to do is ACCEPT that THIS IS LIFE. Our next ‘assignment’ should we choose to accept it, is to feel our feelings deeply and softly then and only then can we move on to the next stage of our life. We will be able to find a BALANCE of our EMOTIONS at some point. We will be able to recognize when to do what.

I am realizing that my ‘LOSSES’ are on one level only, the PHYSICAL plane. I will always have the memories and warm feelings of those who are ‘passed on’. They are forever in my heart.

This is more than a BELIEF. It is a KNOWING that I brought to LIGHT. ANY emotion I have about anything is what it is. I KNOW in my heart that nothing is ever LOST or GONE. I KNOW that whatever has been will TRANSFORM into something else or new. Nature and gardening, caring for plants especially has taught me that. I am on a new venture with house plants to care for and study about and it is such a tonic!

I’m grateful to remember

There is always, always

Blue sky above the clouds.

 BLESSINGS