IRIS

LONELINESS


As I was pruning a plant that I dug up from my dear friend's ( the friend who passed away recently), I was stunned to realize that LONELINESS ( which I was only vaguely thinking about) doesn't mean being LONELY for other company, someone to share time with, necessarily! What I realized is that there is a part of me that is LONELY for another part of me. something I have not discovered or been able to reach yet. I have a sneaking suspicion it is that I still don't ACCEPT life as it is right NOW!

I am becoming familiar with 'foreign territory' for me. This is a new experience, one that I seem to be needing my sea legs to get my bearings. I have a feeling many people are going through some new experiences and perhaps can't identify them. It really is a 'time of CHANGE', acclimating to a new adjustment. It is a challenge for me to ACCEPT just what is going on with me. I'm willing
to go through all the discomfort because I know I'll come through it and 'out the other side'!

I catch myself wanting something to be different than it is quite often! Because trying to 'be in the NOW' so much of the time, I think I'm ACCEPTING the present moment CONSCIOUSLY, but alas, I'm not often! That is exactly why STAYING IN THE PRESENT  by PAYING ATTENTION is so important to me1 

This is so liberating for me to realize this so that when I feel LONELY, it is a sign to realize my 'best friend' is right with me all the time, Me, Myself and I! I love being with people I truly enjoy. However, sometimes I have EXPECTATION of the time we'll enjoy together and for whatever reason I can feel disappointed in the outcome. This is no one's fault, it is the way it is!

This is a big lesson for me about EXPECTATIONS ( or hopes and demands) and it is totally unfair to put anything either on myself or another. I'm learning a lot here about how I can be unhappy or discontent and not really knowing why! I like to imagine a gorgeous large leaf floating down a stream and just letting go and floating, allowing the current to take it wherever, no RESISTANCE, no EXPECTATIONS, just FLOATING! 

I know for sure that this is an issue about LONELINESS of varying sorts that human beings experience at one time or another. What I also know is that in order for me to think and 'find myself or an answer,' I need time in SOLITUDE and I love that! I have found many valuable assets about myself lately and there's more to be found, all in right timing!



Being OPEN and WILLING

to ALLOW the ESSENCE of LIFE

to BUBBLE up at odd moments!


BLESSINGS



  

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